Photographs: Claire Pepper
On the finish of final yr, I turned 59. This yr I’ll be 60. One in every of my associates gave me a card with ‘ Pop stars for folks our age’ on the entrance, together with: Frankie Goes to Morrisons and Mariah Care Dwelling. Humorous, ha ha. We chatted within the pub with one in every of her 18-year-old daughters, who is worked up about going to school in September, and realised that if we stay to 82.6 (the average life expectancy for a lady within the UK) we’re virtually three-quarters of the way in which there. That’s my age and I’m comfy with it. As you possibly can see from the photograph above, I don’t do Botox or have tweakments. I’m extra assured now than after I was youthful; self-acceptance at nearly-60. Convey on the bus go!
Whereas massive birthdays are seen as an opportunity to replicate – totally on what we’re advised we should always have achieved by sure factors – actual life isn’t like that. As I discovered after I turned 40. Though I had an excellent job and loads of associates, I spent my whole thirty ninth yr feeling depressing about my lack of accomplishment ( no husband, no youngsters, no home). Then when the clock reached 40, nothing modified and I felt positive. As we speak, I nonetheless don’t have a husband (Mr TNMA and I aren’t married), a home or youngsters (however my associates’ youngsters are my prolonged household). I’m busy working – no probability of early retirement with my garbage, cobbled-together pension, I want the cash and the psychological stimulation. I wish to stick with it working. Sure, I’m lucky sufficient to do my very own factor, to work for myself and luxuriate in what I do. I began That’s Not My Age 15-years-ago, after leaving journal publishing and am immensely proud to have constructed up a loyal on-line following; the wonderful conversations ladies of all ages have on this area drive me ahead.
Photograph: Claire Pepper
Once I launched That’s Not My Age, I wished to sit back towards stereotypes. To share ideas and recommendation and hopefully empower different ladies to face up towards the invisibility factor and name out the ageism and sexism. Undoubtedly, over the past decade, issues have moved on. But, although we have now an ageing inhabitants (in 10 years, 1 / 4 of the UK population will be over-65) and there are extra midlife ladies on social media than corrupt politicians in parliament, the truth is we’re nonetheless handled unequally and unfairly. Anticipated to defy the ageing course of so as to hold our jobs/seem in public/no matter. There was a specific amount of progress – gray hair is seen as cool, we are able to discuss concerning the menopause (simply don’t count on any time off work) – however the strain to age in a sure method, nonetheless persists.
Ageing is ok so long as you don’t look outdated, and have cash and good well being. However actual life isn’t like Goop. And we’re greater than what we appear like. Advertisers and the media proceed to perpetuate the parable that younger is gorgeous, outdated is the other – however they’re simply attempting to promote us stuff. We don’t have to purchase into this or buy the merchandise. With our knowledge and expertise, we all know we are able to stand our floor.
Michelle Yeoh spoke of her 40 years in Hollywood, at the Golden Globes last month, ‘ Whew! OK. I’m simply gonna stand right here and take this all in. Forty years, not letting go of this. It’s been a tremendous journey and unbelievable struggle to be right here right this moment, however I believe it’s price it…’ Happening to say ageism, she added, ‘As time glided by – I turned 60 final yr – and I believe all of you ladies perceive this as the times, years, numbers get greater, the alternatives get smaller as properly.’
Photograph: Claire Pepper
Just lately, I went to my first sixtieth social gathering. Surrounded by associates and acquaintances I hadn’t seen for fairly a while, all of us regarded older and couldn’t bear in mind one another’s names however our attitudes have stayed the identical. And, identical to the olden days I used to be leaping round to The Clash after a few beers. With out eager to sound like a type of cringy platitudes/ Instagram hashtags: having fun, dancing and spending time with associates is nice for you. Significantly after the pandemic.
Within the Jon Snow programme on Channel 4, the 76-year-old, ex-news anchor visits communities all over the world the place individuals are dwelling pleased, wholesome, lengthy lives. The inhabitants in Japan lives longer than anyplace else, and the older folks interviewed are nonetheless working – one girl began making dumplings full-time at 70-years-old – and kind an built-in a part of the neighborhood, all exercising collectively and being sociable. The identical occurs on a small island in Greece, the place inhabitants stay a easy life, with out a lot cash or materials issues and the aged are supported by households and associates of all ages. The presenter discovers that these locations have a couple of issues in frequent, particularly, a nutritious diet, a robust sense of neighborhood and function. We might actually do with this sort of system within the UK. The place older individuals are valued and brought care of, as an alternative of being written off and seen as a burden.
One factor I have to do as I head in the direction of my seventh decade is discover a higher work-life stability and take a bit extra care of myself. The previous few years have concerned far too many hours on the laptop and my again retains seizing up – how I laughed at the Voltarol advert in the course of the Jon Snow programme ( and sure, I can extremely advocate this product for ache reduction). Partly, that is right down to not getting out to as many work occasions, post-pandemic and spending extra time sitting at a desk, but in addition as a result of I’m not as limber as I as soon as was. I’m getting older and have to hold shifting. This yr, I’ll be listening to my physique, reviewing the way in which I work on That’s Not My Age and taking advantage of my spare time. Because the writer Margareta Magnusson says we have to discover a strategy to flip ageing into an artwork and be artistic about how we strategy every single day. ‘It’s by no means too late to do something. The second you begin considering it’s too late, you then start to die’.
Photograph: Claire Pepper
SUBSCRIBE TO THAT’S NOT MY AGE
In the event you’ve loved studying this characteristic, please think about changing into a That’s Not My Age subscriber. Those that have signed-up are supporting That’s Not My Age in its entirety. Each subscription is efficacious for the way forward for this website and can go in the direction of creating partaking content material to encourage and empower ladies of all ages. Extra particulars HERE.
Thanks a lot. Your contribution is essential.
STYLE NOTES
First outfit: denim shirt on mortgage from White Stuff. Silk scarf by Toast.
Second outfit: All garments loaned from Plumo. Mule loafers from Dune London, comparable HERE (this was taken a few years in the past so actual merchandise are not obtainable).
Third outfit: my khaki jumpsuit is sort of a couple of years outdated from Bliss & Mischief (not obtainable however comparable HERE and HERE and check out Etsy for military surplus). Sneakers are an outdated pair from Chie Mihara. Sailor high still available from Seasalt (a part of a current collaboration). Leather-based belt is one other outdated factor from Cos.
Fourth outfit: VINTAGE sweatshirt from the TNMA Edit.
Photographs: Claire Pepper
On the finish of final yr, I turned 59. This yr I’ll be 60. One in every of my associates gave me a card with ‘ Pop stars for folks our age’ on the entrance, together with: Frankie Goes to Morrisons and Mariah Care Dwelling. Humorous, ha ha. We chatted within the pub with one in every of her 18-year-old daughters, who is worked up about going to school in September, and realised that if we stay to 82.6 (the average life expectancy for a lady within the UK) we’re virtually three-quarters of the way in which there. That’s my age and I’m comfy with it. As you possibly can see from the photograph above, I don’t do Botox or have tweakments. I’m extra assured now than after I was youthful; self-acceptance at nearly-60. Convey on the bus go!
Whereas massive birthdays are seen as an opportunity to replicate – totally on what we’re advised we should always have achieved by sure factors – actual life isn’t like that. As I discovered after I turned 40. Though I had an excellent job and loads of associates, I spent my whole thirty ninth yr feeling depressing about my lack of accomplishment ( no husband, no youngsters, no home). Then when the clock reached 40, nothing modified and I felt positive. As we speak, I nonetheless don’t have a husband (Mr TNMA and I aren’t married), a home or youngsters (however my associates’ youngsters are my prolonged household). I’m busy working – no probability of early retirement with my garbage, cobbled-together pension, I want the cash and the psychological stimulation. I wish to stick with it working. Sure, I’m lucky sufficient to do my very own factor, to work for myself and luxuriate in what I do. I began That’s Not My Age 15-years-ago, after leaving journal publishing and am immensely proud to have constructed up a loyal on-line following; the wonderful conversations ladies of all ages have on this area drive me ahead.
Photograph: Claire Pepper
Once I launched That’s Not My Age, I wished to sit back towards stereotypes. To share ideas and recommendation and hopefully empower different ladies to face up towards the invisibility factor and name out the ageism and sexism. Undoubtedly, over the past decade, issues have moved on. But, although we have now an ageing inhabitants (in 10 years, 1 / 4 of the UK population will be over-65) and there are extra midlife ladies on social media than corrupt politicians in parliament, the truth is we’re nonetheless handled unequally and unfairly. Anticipated to defy the ageing course of so as to hold our jobs/seem in public/no matter. There was a specific amount of progress – gray hair is seen as cool, we are able to discuss concerning the menopause (simply don’t count on any time off work) – however the strain to age in a sure method, nonetheless persists.
Ageing is ok so long as you don’t look outdated, and have cash and good well being. However actual life isn’t like Goop. And we’re greater than what we appear like. Advertisers and the media proceed to perpetuate the parable that younger is gorgeous, outdated is the other – however they’re simply attempting to promote us stuff. We don’t have to purchase into this or buy the merchandise. With our knowledge and expertise, we all know we are able to stand our floor.
Michelle Yeoh spoke of her 40 years in Hollywood, at the Golden Globes last month, ‘ Whew! OK. I’m simply gonna stand right here and take this all in. Forty years, not letting go of this. It’s been a tremendous journey and unbelievable struggle to be right here right this moment, however I believe it’s price it…’ Happening to say ageism, she added, ‘As time glided by – I turned 60 final yr – and I believe all of you ladies perceive this as the times, years, numbers get greater, the alternatives get smaller as properly.’
Photograph: Claire Pepper
Just lately, I went to my first sixtieth social gathering. Surrounded by associates and acquaintances I hadn’t seen for fairly a while, all of us regarded older and couldn’t bear in mind one another’s names however our attitudes have stayed the identical. And, identical to the olden days I used to be leaping round to The Clash after a few beers. With out eager to sound like a type of cringy platitudes/ Instagram hashtags: having fun, dancing and spending time with associates is nice for you. Significantly after the pandemic.
Within the Jon Snow programme on Channel 4, the 76-year-old, ex-news anchor visits communities all over the world the place individuals are dwelling pleased, wholesome, lengthy lives. The inhabitants in Japan lives longer than anyplace else, and the older folks interviewed are nonetheless working – one girl began making dumplings full-time at 70-years-old – and kind an built-in a part of the neighborhood, all exercising collectively and being sociable. The identical occurs on a small island in Greece, the place inhabitants stay a easy life, with out a lot cash or materials issues and the aged are supported by households and associates of all ages. The presenter discovers that these locations have a couple of issues in frequent, particularly, a nutritious diet, a robust sense of neighborhood and function. We might actually do with this sort of system within the UK. The place older individuals are valued and brought care of, as an alternative of being written off and seen as a burden.
One factor I have to do as I head in the direction of my seventh decade is discover a higher work-life stability and take a bit extra care of myself. The previous few years have concerned far too many hours on the laptop and my again retains seizing up – how I laughed at the Voltarol advert in the course of the Jon Snow programme ( and sure, I can extremely advocate this product for ache reduction). Partly, that is right down to not getting out to as many work occasions, post-pandemic and spending extra time sitting at a desk, but in addition as a result of I’m not as limber as I as soon as was. I’m getting older and have to hold shifting. This yr, I’ll be listening to my physique, reviewing the way in which I work on That’s Not My Age and taking advantage of my spare time. Because the writer Margareta Magnusson says we have to discover a strategy to flip ageing into an artwork and be artistic about how we strategy every single day. ‘It’s by no means too late to do something. The second you begin considering it’s too late, you then start to die’.
Photograph: Claire Pepper
SUBSCRIBE TO THAT’S NOT MY AGE
In the event you’ve loved studying this characteristic, please think about changing into a That’s Not My Age subscriber. Those that have signed-up are supporting That’s Not My Age in its entirety. Each subscription is efficacious for the way forward for this website and can go in the direction of creating partaking content material to encourage and empower ladies of all ages. Extra particulars HERE.
Thanks a lot. Your contribution is essential.
STYLE NOTES
First outfit: denim shirt on mortgage from White Stuff. Silk scarf by Toast.
Second outfit: All garments loaned from Plumo. Mule loafers from Dune London, comparable HERE (this was taken a few years in the past so actual merchandise are not obtainable).
Third outfit: my khaki jumpsuit is sort of a couple of years outdated from Bliss & Mischief (not obtainable however comparable HERE and HERE and check out Etsy for military surplus). Sneakers are an outdated pair from Chie Mihara. Sailor high still available from Seasalt (a part of a current collaboration). Leather-based belt is one other outdated factor from Cos.
Fourth outfit: VINTAGE sweatshirt from the TNMA Edit.
