After we are good at one thing, or after we have interaction in a conduct that’s deemed innocent by societal requirements, we typically overlook to pause and mirror on whether or not it’s really serving to us be the individual we wish to be. However, the reality is that we are able to typically possess ‘fascinating’ traits that undermine our psychological well being and relationships.
Whereas we needs to be cautious to not completely label any conduct as ‘good’ or ‘unhealthy,’ it helps to test in with ourselves periodically to sift out any traits or behavioral patterns which might be inflicting us extra hurt than good. Keep in mind, even nice individuals develop unhealthy habits – so there’s no disgrace in hitting the reset button.
Listed here are three examples of fine traits gone unhealthy, and what to do about them.
#1. An unhealthy humorousness
The levity and launch of stress offered by humor could make it an effective way to deal with tough conditions. However not at all times.
For instance, individuals can harm their very own shallowness by indulging in self-deprecating humor and making enjoyable of their very own weaknesses to realize social acceptance. In accordance with psychologist Chloe Lau of Western College Canada, a self-deprecating humorousness will also be used as a solution to escape underlying emotions of negativity. That is okay to some extent, nevertheless it’s additionally essential to handle unresolved destructive emotions earlier than they flip into an even bigger drawback.
Furthermore, a darkish or cynical humorousness could also be a predictor of darkish character traits. In accordance with a study revealed in Persona and Particular person Variations, individuals excessive on the trait of machiavellianism, or the tendency to be conniving and strategic, use darkish humor as a way to control and/or shun others.
What makes your humorousness adaptive or maladaptive has extra to do with its function than content material. Are you utilizing your humorousness to control or make your self or others look unhealthy? Or, are you utilizing it as a solution to improve interpersonal relationships and reduce your nervousness?
#2. An obsession together with your work
It may be laborious to inform when an individual has crossed the road from skilled success to full-blown work obsession, particularly in cultures that remember workaholic tendencies. In accordance with a study revealed in Persona and Particular person Variations, people who find themselves obsessively captivated with their work expertise extra nervousness, stress, destructive feelings and sometimes report low ranges of psychological well-being.
When you have obsessive work tendencies, listed below are a few methods to maneuver towards a extra balanced life-style:
- Select harmonious ardour over obsessive ardour. Harmonious ardour, versus its obsessive counterpart, drives you to pursue an exercise with flexibility and stability. Harmoniously passionate individuals dedicate time, power, and love towards their ardour with out turning it into their sole preoccupation.
- Ditch your ‘bottom-line’ office. In case your office focuses solely on productiveness, earnings, and efficiency and ignores issues like worker well being and interpersonal relationships, it is perhaps pushing your obsessive tendencies into overdrive. Taking a sabbatical and even simply stepping again may enable you to inject extra stability into your life.
#3. A hyper-fixation in your daydreams
Even one thing as commonplace and innocuous as daydreaming generally is a predictor of pathology. Maladaptive daydreaming, in response to psychologist Eli Somer, is distinct from regular thoughts wandering.
“It’s an irregular type of daydreaming that’s intentional, fantastical, very vivid, fanciful, typically accompanied by repetitive bodily motion and is related to dissociation and a number of other psychological issues.”
In accordance with a study revealed in Persona and Particular person Variations, most individuals use maladaptive daydreaming to fulfilling the next capabilities:
- A distraction from present actuality
- A method of want achievement
- A method to struggle boredom
- A rewarding pastime
And, essentially the most recurrent and in style themes of those daydreams had been:
- Discovering a relationship with one other individual or discovering love
- Being highly effective and dominant
- Receiving further consideration
For anybody battling maladaptive daydreaming, Somer makes the next suggestions:
- Search assist from a psychological well being skilled with a specialization in treating habits and behavioral addictions.
- Preserve a day by day diary to extend consciousness of what your days and day by day conduct appear like.
- Have interaction in mindfulness trainings, which have proven promise in treating maladaptive daydreaming.
- Since maladaptive daydreaming prospers in solitude, reduce being alone and enhance your diploma of social interplay.
Consistently searching for validation, striving to over-perform, and even being too inward can deprive us of wholesome and regular life experiences. Verify in with your self recurrently to keep away from slipping into maladaptive behavioral patterns.